January 4, 2011
"Lord, I want to confess to you that I once again feel fickle and I am feeling dry and unprepared. I want to apologize because often times my relationship with You seems somewhat based on circumstances. I mean that when a situation or project arises I then, more intently, turn my focus toward You. I spend much of my time regretting that I don't spend more time with You - instead of simply using that time to be with You. Lord, I am praying that you would make me different, to change me. I am deliberately turning my focus toward You - to intentionally and passionately seek You. Please show me Lord how to move into a secure, fulfilled, and anointed place with You..."
If I had taken the same task of examining the upcoming 12 months on July 1, 2011...I confess that my entry for that day would have looked much like the one penned in January. But I have learned something about myself. I need to take things in smaller pieces. The next twelve months, 10 years from now, our retirement account, world politics, the Pacific Ocean, the fate of charitable giving in the United States, the spouses my children will marry....all of those things are so vast and far in the distance, they are hard for me to grasp. I have trouble gaining a clear perspective on them. I am not saying that we should be uneducated or short sighted. I am not saying that we shouldn't consider the big picture and make plans for the future.
But what the Lord has taught me over the last six months...is that He is the "I AM". He is in this present moment. He is with me today and today He holds all that I need. I really can't predict where my relationship with Him will be in 6 months, but I can affect and know where it is today. I don't know where CareNet or charitable giving with be in 6 months, but He is our provider today and in the months to come. Today, we are well tended to and our clients receive the love, compassion and truth of Christ everyday. I don't know who my ten and twelve year olds will marry, but I know the people they are today and the ones the Lord is shaping them into tomorrow. I can't fathom the depths of the Pacific Ocean, but I felt the sands of the beach between my toes just weeks ago and I sensed His Presence.
Bite sized moments, that's my focus for 2012. My prayer is that I will ask Him everyday...what is He purpose for today, because His provision is for that purpose. I am praying for all of us that we would focus on this moment and to fully experience the Great I Am.
I am praying for you what King David penned in Psalm 61.
"May he be enthroned in God's presence forever; appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him." Psalm 61:7
