Lord today I just want to pour out my heart to You. There are so many situations that I am thinking about today. So many different things that I am presenting to You that I am needing answers for...I will soon visit with a precious young lady who is off the path. I will be a part of my oldest son, Tanner's, weeding in just 11 days. My kids are involved in sports. My husband is busy working and coaching and tending to us. We have a big project coming up this summer. I am asking You, Lord, to allow me to be utilized by You in the greatest measure possible to further your Kingdom. I have a bleach stain on my carpet and moths in my garage. The laundry is piling up and I am trying to organize summer events for my kids. I am being mom, wife, GiGi, sister, daughter, friend and co-worker day in and day out. There are still literally 10 things left on my to do list.
But right now...I want to be with You. I want to know your peace. I want to experience a touch from the tender hand of the Most High. I want to hear You whisper, not answers to questions or solutions to my situations...but encouraging love words. I want You to remind me of the whys...Why do You love me? Why do I love You? Why do I trust You? Why have You chosen us? Why all this beauty? Why so much difficulty? Why the giftings You have given me? Why the weaknesses in me that are so obvious to me? Why the sweet whispers in the earliest moments of the morning? Why sometimes the silence in the darkest ticks of the midnight clock? Why sicknesses? Why rebellion? Why beautiful sunrises and slobbery baby kisses?
Lord in all of the whys...I see You. I thank you Father that there is power and victory in the word of our testimony. I've decided that my life journey is just that...my life journey. On my way to the laundry room, I'm not going to trip into the hamper and find myself immediately on the road to Damascus standing in Paul's shoes. I won't face the Sanhedrin. I won't be imprisoned or stoned. I won't be a contributor to the Holy Book or be martyred for your glory. But I have a calling nonetheless...to love my family, to be a godly wife and mother...to let you use the circumstances of my life to mold me into the person you want me to be...to tell others of your marvelous greatness...to love you well.
The answer to all of my whys is that I am desperate for You and You passionately pursue me. I love you. Change me.
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